The Righteous Path – Recovering Addict Reading The Bible

The Righteous Path

Recovering Addict Reading The Bible

By John Totten

 

     Fear of death has been overwhelming me lately. My heart and respiratory system is behaving in ways I could never imagine until recently. I’m a heavy smoker. Also I’m a recovering addict and recovering alcoholic. I suffer from levels of anxiety and fear that words cannot describe. I’m 18 months sober at the moment.

 

    One night when I was certain my heart would not last any longer I questioned my faith and prayed to God asking to be brought out of my pain. I grabbed my Bible that I’ve had since a child but always neglected to read then I held it firmly in my hands promising myself that I would read whichever chapter the pages would open at when I released my grip. The Bible fell open at Hebrews Chapter 11 (The Fruits Of Faith). At a time when my mind was out of control and I was being bombarded with constant negative thoughts I found almost immediate relief reading this. I was quickly reminded of God’s almighty power. It was greatly reassuring to me.

 

   I knew that if I was to die the only place I would want to be is within God’s heavenly kingdom but I am a sinner. I have been a sinner as long as I can remember. Everyday I continue to sin. Not always intentionally but it still happens.

 

 The further I venture into unfamiliar sobriety and reality without the use of drugs the more I realise that there is life after death otherwise what would be the point of our existence? God is our creator and creator of the heavens and Earth. Why some people do not believe is something I can’t understand. Many of the things that are prophesised in the Bible are all coming of age. Man is destroying himself. People are so lost. I imagine hell to be full of billions of lost souls in endless pain and suffering and they were warned about this before they died.

 

 When I was younger I was a bit of a hood and general nuisance. I was in trouble with the law countless times and I hurt a lot of friends, family and strangers along the way. Every night I am haunted by the guilt of my past antics and I wish I could just let all those people know how sorry I really am. If you know me and I ever hurt you or done you wrong please believe me when I say I’m sorry.

 

   I am a million times a better person than I was just a few years ago and still progressing in the right direction.

 

  I want to go to heaven when I die. The Bible that I have been reading from can sometimes be a little difficult for me to understand but I still want to understand it. It is a King James Bible. There are a lot of terms like ‘ Thou’ and ‘Thee’ which can often cause me to be distracted from the actual content of whatever passage that I’m reading. Is there anyone out there who can recommend an easier to understand version of the old and new testaments that don’t drift away from the original scripts??

 

 All help is appreciated. Please leave me a comment here or email me at eternaltrooper@live.co.uk

                                                         Thanks. John