Into The Wild – Eddie Vedder – Society – Lyrics And Video

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2009 by eternaltrooper

                                                     Eddie Veder – Society –

Song Lyrics And Video – From The Soundtrack Of ‘ Into The Wild’

 

Every once in a while I would listen to a song that I can really empathise with. After watching the movie, ‘Into The Wild’ I looked this song up and have listened to it countless times since. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Also if you havn’t seen the movie, ‘ Into The Wild ‘ I think you should. You won’t be disappointed.

The song is called, ‘ Society ‘ by Eddie Vedder. Please take just a few minutes to check it out if you havn’t heard it already. Here are the lyrics followed by the youtube videos. Please comment.

Society lyrics

Eddie Vedder (Into the Wild) song lyrics

Oh it’s a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed…
and you think you have to want more than you need…
until you have it all, you won’t be free.

Society, you’re a crazy breed.
I hope you’re not lonely, without me.

When you want more than you have, you think you need…
and when you think more then you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think I need to find a bigger place…
cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

Society, you’re a crazy breed.
I hope you’re not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed…
I hope you’re not lonely, without me.

There’s those thinkin’ more or less, less is more,
but if less is more, how you keepin’ score?
It means for every point you make, your level drops.
Kinda like you’re startin’ from the top…
and you can’t do that.

Society, you’re a crazy breed.
I hope you’re not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed…
I hope you’re not lonely, without me
Society, have mercy on me.
I hope you’re not angry, if I disagree.
Society, crazy indeed.
I hope you’re not lonely…
without me.

                                                                intothewild                                                                                     

 

 

 

                                                                            

Eddie Vedder

Eddie Vedder

 

                                     Other Eddie Vedder Music -

                                                                                                  

 

 

 

 

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The Righteous Path – Recovering Addict Reading The Bible

Posted in The Bible with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 23, 2009 by eternaltrooper

The Righteous Path

Recovering Addict Reading The Bible

By John Totten

 

     Fear of death has been overwhelming me lately. My heart and respiratory system is behaving in ways I could never imagine until recently. I’m a heavy smoker. Also I’m a recovering addict and recovering alcoholic. I suffer from levels of anxiety and fear that words cannot describe. I’m 18 months sober at the moment.

 

    One night when I was certain my heart would not last any longer I questioned my faith and prayed to God asking to be brought out of my pain. I grabbed my Bible that I’ve had since a child but always neglected to read then I held it firmly in my hands promising myself that I would read whichever chapter the pages would open at when I released my grip. The Bible fell open at Hebrews Chapter 11 (The Fruits Of Faith). At a time when my mind was out of control and I was being bombarded with constant negative thoughts I found almost immediate relief reading this. I was quickly reminded of God’s almighty power. It was greatly reassuring to me.

 

   I knew that if I was to die the only place I would want to be is within God’s heavenly kingdom but I am a sinner. I have been a sinner as long as I can remember. Everyday I continue to sin. Not always intentionally but it still happens.

 

 The further I venture into unfamiliar sobriety and reality without the use of drugs the more I realise that there is life after death otherwise what would be the point of our existence? God is our creator and creator of the heavens and Earth. Why some people do not believe is something I can’t understand. Many of the things that are prophesised in the Bible are all coming of age. Man is destroying himself. People are so lost. I imagine hell to be full of billions of lost souls in endless pain and suffering and they were warned about this before they died.

 

 When I was younger I was a bit of a hood and general nuisance. I was in trouble with the law countless times and I hurt a lot of friends, family and strangers along the way. Every night I am haunted by the guilt of my past antics and I wish I could just let all those people know how sorry I really am. If you know me and I ever hurt you or done you wrong please believe me when I say I’m sorry.

 

   I am a million times a better person than I was just a few years ago and still progressing in the right direction.

 

  I want to go to heaven when I die. The Bible that I have been reading from can sometimes be a little difficult for me to understand but I still want to understand it. It is a King James Bible. There are a lot of terms like ‘ Thou’ and ‘Thee’ which can often cause me to be distracted from the actual content of whatever passage that I’m reading. Is there anyone out there who can recommend an easier to understand version of the old and new testaments that don’t drift away from the original scripts??

 

 All help is appreciated. Please leave me a comment here or email me at eternaltrooper@live.co.uk

                                                         Thanks. John

 

                              Freedom

Terminator Salvation (2009) – Well Worth Watching – Movie Review

Posted in Movies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2009 by eternaltrooper

 

Terminator: Salvation – Definitely A Good Show

By John Totten

 

  Last night my girlfriend and I went to the Movie House cinema at Yorkgate in Belfast to watch Terminator Salvation on the first day of it’s release.

 

  Before going to see the movie we heard much criticism about it. One guy on a local radio station said he would rate the movie 2 stars out of a possible 5. Thankfully we disregarded comments like this and we went and seen the movie for ourselves. It was excellent.

 

 In past years I really enjoyed the original Terminator movie and also the second Terminator movie. The third one however was terrible (in my opinion) and totally tarnished a pretty good saga.

 

 Thankfully Terminator Salvation (2009) makes up for all the things that was lacking from the third movie.

 

Christian Bale and Sam Worthington give great screen performances.

 

Movie plot (imdb movie summary):

 

  Set in post-apocalyptic 2018, John Connor is the man fated to lead the human resistance against Skynet and its army of Terminators. But the future Connor was raised to believe in is altered in part by the appearance of Marcus Wright, a stranger whose last memory is of being on death row. Connor must decide whether Marcus has been sent from the future, or rescued from the past. As Skynet prepares its final onslaught, Connor and Marcus both embark on an odyssey that takes them into the heart of Skynet’s operations, where they uncover the terrible secret behind the possible annihilation of mankind. Written by Warner Bros. Pictures

 

 

I feel I should also mention that after hearing various points of criticism about this movie I went onto the internet movie database website and checked their ratings. Around 20,000 people had rated the movie on average 7.3 stars out of a possible 10. This gave me a better idea of what the movie would be like. Twenty thousand people’s opinions are a lot better than one or two people’s opinions.

 

If you enjoyed the first two Terminator movies then you should go and check this one out. There is plenty of action and the special effects are probably the best I’ve ever seen. Also the plot and the acting is fantastic. It’s well worth the trip to the cinema.

 

Thanks for reading and please comment if you have a moment.

 

If you have seen this movie did you feel it lived up to your expectations?

 

Would you agree this is a good movie or do you have a different opinion?

 

                                             

 

 

 

 

 

  terminator-salvation-movie-poster_480x741

                                    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why Does Man Still Insist On Taking Drugs?

Posted in Lifestyle with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2009 by eternaltrooper

Why does man still insist on taking drugs?

                                 By John Totten

 

 After years of proven medical evidence and mass media attention man still gambles with taking drugs. Why?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(The following passage is taken from Wikipedia)

A drug, broadly speaking, is any substance that, when absorbed into the body of a living organism, alters normal bodily function.[3] There is no single, precise definition, as there are different meanings in drug control law, government regulations, medicine, and colloquial usage.[4]

In pharmacology, Dictionary.com defines a drug as “a chemical substance used in the treatment, cure, prevention, or diagnosis of disease or used to otherwise enhance physical or mental well-being.”[4] Drugs may be prescribed for a limited duration, or on a regular basis for chronic disorders.[5]

Recreational drugs are chemical substances that affect the central nervous system, such as opioids or hallucinogens.[5] They may be used for perceived beneficial effects on perception, consciousness, personality, and behavior.[5][6] Some drugs can cause addiction and habituation.[6]

Drugs are usually distinguished from endogenous biochemicals by being introduced from outside the organism.[citation needed] For example, insulin is a hormone that is synthesized in the body; it is called a hormone when it is synthesized by the pancreas inside the body, but if it is introduced into the body from outside, it is called a drug.[citation needed]

Many natural substances such as beers, wines, and some mushrooms, blur the line between food and drugs, as when ingested they affect the functioning of both mind and body.

(end of Wikipedia passage)

If you are a drug user can you please comment and outline your reasons for taking drugs?

  • Teens

             The relationship between teens and drugs has been around for decades; however, this is not what you would call positive. Substance abusing (which is using drugs or alcohol in ways than can cause physical harm) is often associated with crime. But why do youths take drugs?

Youth take drugs for the following reasons: social disorganization, peer pressure, family factors, emotional, or rational choice. Social disorganization deals with drug abuse to poverty and disorganized urban environment. Drug use by youth minority group members has been tied to factors such as racial prejudice, low-esteem, social status, and stress produced from environment. The National Youth Survey found that drug use tends to be higher among urban youths.

Peer pressure is the most well-known reason for teens to partake in substance abuse. Some may argue that teen drug abuse is highly correlated with the behaviour of close friends especially when family supervision is weak. This relationship, in fact, is reciprocal: substance abusers seek out friends who engage in similar activities.

  •  General

            Medicines Are Legal Drugs

If you’ve ever been sick and had to take medicine, you already know about one kind of drugs. Medicines are legal drugs, meaning doctors are allowed to prescribe them for patients, stores can sell them, and people are allowed to buy them. But it’s not legal, or safe, for people to use these medicines any way they want or to buy them from people who are selling them illegally.

Cigarettes and Alcohol

Cigarettes and alcohol are two other kinds of legal drugs. (In the United States, adults 18 and over can buy cigarettes and those 21 and over can buy alcohol.) But smoking and excessive drinking are not healthy for adults and off limits for kids.

Illegal Drugs

When people talk about the “drug problem,” they usually mean abusing legal drugs or using illegal drugs, such as marijuana, ecstasy, cocaine, LSD, crystal meth and heroin. (Marijuana is generally an illegal drug, but some states allow doctors to prescribe it to adults for certain illnesses.)

 

q       Help

           http://www.talktofrank.com/

 

  • Bad Experiences On Drugs

          LSD: Holy shit. The strangest substance on the planet. If you’re not a mentally strong person, don’t take this. It will change your personality and the way you look at the world. >It’s difficult to function at all on this drug and for that reason not many people use it consistently. Bad trips are very real and nearly impossible to escape without a hospital visit. It’s very, very possible to lose your mind. Every friend who was “really into acid” has had a bad trip at one point, it was usually their last.

        E(xtasy): Many debates about this one. It creates trackable physical changes in the brain. Too much of it will inevitably create a nearly inescapable depression.

      Alcohol: Yep. Had a friend involved in a car accident drunk. You don’t want to go through this. This drug’s danger is in it’s accessibility and the recursive effects; in that, it reduces your capacity for danger, so the drunker you get, the less of a problem you see with getting drunker

Pot: I’m told it’s not addictive, and it probably isn’t on the level of heroin… but… I’ve known a few people in my life unable to function without it. Gotta smoke before everything to make the experience better. Smoke before movies, smoke before eating, smoke before doing something that’s boring to make it more entertaining. Then they’re moody as hell when they don’t have it and only care about getting a hold of their dealer. It isn’t healthy. This drug’s greatest danger is in how “harmless” it appears to be. It probably is compared to other drugs, but consuming this all day is very, very bad for your life’s accomplishments.

            Lets just say i know a “guy” that took a lot of X all the time, he start off with 1 pill on the weekend, and then it became more pills lots more often.

It started to damage his kidneys , his personality was just nothing anymore. He began to hear voices, people talking to him that were not there (while not on the drugs)

Also, LSD , bad trip and almost killed himself while on it

(Above bad experiences taken from www.reddit.com )

So why does man still insist on taking drugs? Please comment.

 

 

 

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Real Heaven From Hell – Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here – What the song means to me!!

Posted in Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 26, 2009 by eternaltrooper

Pink Floyd – ‘Wish You Were Here’

What The Song Means To Me!

By John Totten

Ever since I was 16 years old I have been addicted to listening to the Pink Floyd song ‘Wish You Were Here.’ 

   In this post I would like to explain why I am so addicted to that song. I think most people hear a love song when they listen to the track where as I hear the track in a totally different way.

    Before writing about the way I hear the song I want to share with you some information on the ‘Wish You Were Here’ album that I obtained from Wikipedia. I’ll then type out the lyrics of the main ‘Wish You Were Here’ song followed by my interpretation of this powerful track.

 

    ‘Courtesy Of Wikipedia’

 Wish You Were Here is a concept album by the rock band Pink Floyd. Recorded at Abbey Road Studios between January and July 1975 and released on 15 September 1975 (see 1975 in music), the album is regarded as one of Pink Floyd’s greatest albums and was ranked 209 on Rolling Stones 500 Greatest Albums of All Time list. Its lyrics, written by Roger Waters, concerned the music industry, and questioned the market-oriented record companies’ lack of understanding and interest for musicians. The album also pays tribute to Syd Barrett, Pink Floyd’s former guitarist and chief songwriter, especially with “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” and the title track itself.

 

 Here are the lyrics:         

 So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

 

   About me and also my interpretation of the song:

   When I was 16 years old I had a bad experience on LSD that resulted in me having 6 months of hardcore hallucinations and permanent minor hallucinations. I also have had thousands of other issues since then as a result of the LSD like several days without sleep, extreme paranoia, major depression and anxiety like I cant even begin to describe to you. I should have been taken to a mental hospital but I wasn’t. If it was possible to remove a day from my life it would have been the day I took that LSD. The LSD killed my personality and positive outlook on life. It may have also left me with Schizophrenia. This has never been diagnosed by any doctors or psychiatrists because they say I am able to rationalise what is causing my mental illness. Well so they say.

  • ‘Heaven from hell’ mentioned in the first line of the song is the contrast of what it was like for me before I lost my mind and how my mind was and still is after taking that LSD that day. This is hell and a peaceful mind would certainly feel like heaven to me. Even one day of having a peaceful mind would be like heaven to me just so that I could remember what that’s like.
  • I certainly do think I can tell ‘Heaven from hell.’
  • ‘Blue skies from pain’ is very hurtful for me to listen to because I begin to think of those people who can enjoy sunsets and take in beautiful views and I remember when I was able to do that. I don’t believe I will ever be able to do that again. Just looking at the horizon or moon can cause me to have an anxiety attack.
  • ‘Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?’ This line is asking the basic questions, ‘Can you distinguish good from bad? Right from wrong? Dreams from nightmares? Reality from psychosis?’ and my answer would be yes I can tell a green field from a cold steel rail.
  • ‘A smile from a veil?’ asks me, ‘Can I distinguish between genuine happiness and masked substitutes?
  •  ‘Do you think you can tell?’ – Yes I do.
  • Yes they did get me to trade my heroes for ghosts. When I was of healthy mind my heroes would have been healthy working people who had good jobs and provided for their families. People who I would like to be like someday and people who I genuinely believed I could be like eventually. Now those people are individuals who I know I cant be like and seem more like ghosts who live in a world of reality parallel to my own.
  • ‘Hot ashes for trees?’ and ‘Hot air for a cool breeze?’ are two more lines questioning me as to whether or not I can distinguish between a life I should be living and the life that I actually live. Yes I can tell the difference.
  • ‘Cold comfort for change?’ is asking me if I know the difference between psychosis and change? I do know cold comfort but can only ever hope for change.
  • ‘And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?’ – This line describes the day I took the LSD. I swapped a perfectly healthy mind which could have gave me a position in the war that some people call life in exchange for a lead role in a cage. My soul is now in a cage of a body with a damaged mind.
  • ‘How I wish, how I wish you were here,’ refers to my sanity, peace of mind, happiness, hope and generally healthy mind. How I wish that person was still me. How I wish they were here.
  • ‘We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,’ refers to myself divided in two. The fish bowl is a metaphor for my body. There are two lost souls within me. One of those souls is me with a healthy mind. I know I will never see that soul again. The other soul is me how I am now. Damaged and also searching for hope or recovery.
  • ‘Running over the same old ground,’ is reinforcing the fact that the 2 souls are within the same body. Taking the same steps, looking like each other in the mirror, eating the same food, listening to the same music, sleeping at the same time are all actions done by two people but only one body.
  • ‘What have you found? The same old fears.’ Refers to the one soul being aware of the other and also realising they are both within the one body. The same old fears (familiar with each other’s fears). The same.
  • ‘Wish you were here’ – I wish that the me before I took the LSD that day was here. The me with the healthy mind.

    Sometimes I listen to this song  in front of my girlfriend. I hope that she never thinks I’m thinking of some girl from years ago. Maybe I will get her to read this post at some point and she will understand what I identify with when I listen to this song.

   I can understand how some people would hear this song as a love song for a lost loved one but for me it’s totally different.

    When you consider what happened to Syd Barrett also it lets you listen to this song from a completely different perspective.

    I think people are allowed to take what they want out of music so it’s up to you what you get out of this song or all songs for that matter.

   If you have took the time to read this blog I would really appreciate it if you left me some feedback or comments on it.

    I hope that none of you ever experience what I have gone through.

    Please always keep in mind not to gamble with LSD. It’s not worth the risk.

                           Trust me.

         Stay safe. Please comment. Take care.  John 

 

 

 

Wish You Were Here

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Effexor / Efexor – Venlafaxine – Panic Attacks, Anxiety And Depression – What are your thoughts on this drug?

Posted in Lifestyle with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 24, 2009 by eternaltrooper

 My name is John. I was first diagnosed with depression when I was around 16 years old. I’m 29 now and over the years I have battled with depression and anxiety in many different ways. After I was coaxed into taking a bad dose of LSD when I was 16 I have never been the same since. I have hallucinations which have thankfully reduced over the years but have become a little more frequent again over the last 6 months. I cant sleep sometimes for a few days at a time and I constantly have terrifying panic attacks which often feel like a heart attack or give me a feeling that something vital within my brain is going to pop and kill me. I’m terrifyed of leaving the house and my social skills are next to none existant or they are exercised only via means of the internet.

 I have been in a rehabilitation centre in Belfast 3 times over the last lot of years and I was also in a mental hospital detox ward once for 3 weeks. I’m a recovering alcoholic, diazepam addict and cannabis addict (even though some people would argue cannabis is only psychologically addictive).

 I have not had any use of alcohol in over 16 months thankfully and I also have not smoked any cannabis in quite a while.

  Over the last lot of years I have tried many different medications. In regards to anti- depressants and anti-anxiety medications the tablets I was on over the last lot of years are mirtazapine 45mg, prozac 60mg, citalopram, duloxetine, diazepam, temazepam, propanolol, zopliclone, seroxat, and a few others.

 Due to the recent increase in panic attacks which I’ve been having over the last 6 months I went and seen a psychiatrist and consultant to get the appropriate diagnosis and medication. In the past while dealing with these type of professionals I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress, depression and addiction. I still dont feel as though I have been properly diagnosed or had my problems anywhere near addressed ( with the exception of addiction). I still feel some form of undiagnosed and unaddressed mental illness is there. The last appointment I had with the consultant left me being told my symptoms are related to fear( which left me none the wiser) and also resulted me being perscribed the medication, ‘ Efexor / Effexor / Venlafaxine’.

  As soon as I was told I was being perscribed these tablets I checked them up on the internet and some of the stories I had read and videos I watched on youtube where pretty terrifying. Have a look at this youtube video for example

 

  I also had a look at some of the side effects on wikipedia. Here are some examples :

 Common side effects

NOTE: The percentage of occurrences for each side effect listed comes from clinical trial data provided by Wyeth Pharmaceuticals Inc. The percentages indicate the percentage of people that experienced the side effect in clinical trials.[2]

 

Less common to rare side-effects

Note ‘Rare’ adverse effects occur in fewer than 1 in 1000 patients. ‘Infrequent’ adverse effects occur in 1 in 100 to 1 in 1000 patients.[2]

Since reading all this information and watching various videos on youtube regarding this drug I have been really scared to take my tablets. I took one when I was first given them and I havn’t taken another one since then. My panic attacks are up to a dozen random times per day at the moment. My anxiety and depression is really scary.

What I would like to know is, ‘What are your experiences with this drug?’  . Has it helped you? Did you experience any of the nasty side effects. What was withdrawl like?

There are even some random pictures that I have seen on the internet that are a litle scary regarding the withdrawl symptoms of this drug.

can bring you to your knees!

can bring you to your knees!

 

 Please comment on this blog and share your thoughts and views.

 I really appreciate you taking the time to read this post and I hope that if you are ill you find recovery, help and remission in the very near future.

 REMEMBER THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE !!!!  Always be open and honest with your family and when you see your doctor make sure that you tell them EVERYTHING !!!

                                 Take care ,        John

 

 

 

 

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Writing A Book & Finding A Literary Agent

Posted in Writing A Book on May 14, 2009 by eternaltrooper

Hi everyone,
I’m in the process of writing a book. It’s going well and it’s my first time doing this type of thing. Before I began the writng process I first spent several months devloping a book structure and character profiles. Now that I’m doing the actual writing of the book I know I will be keen to get it published once it is finished. I have looked at a few ways of publishing a book such as P.O.D (Print On Demand) or the use of a literary agent.

The option I would like to take is the use of a literary agent. At least for my first book anyway until I get established. Is there anyone out there who can recommend any good litterary agents to me? I want to avoid lazy agents who will not market my book very well.

 I’m writing a fictional novel inspired by real life events. It tells the story of some young friends growing up in Northern Ireland. One of the most distinguishing and unique qualities about this book is that it’s unlike all the other stories that are from Northern Ireland that have been stereotyped and tarnished by the countries past political reputation. It describes and tells the story of a really alternative way of living in comparison to other tales from this part of the world. It’s fast paced, gritty, exciting and I am working really hard on it all the time.

I am keen to get involved with an agent who has a good editor and will promote my book internationally. I can easily imagine it being read by many people in cities all over the world such as New York, Boston, Sydney, Berlin, Paris, Cape Town, and many other places.

I also would like some kind of good copyright terms as I can easily imagine this novel being adapted for screen someday.

If there is anyone out there who can point me in the right direction then please contact me via email at the following address: eternaltrooper@hotmail.co.uk

I appreciate you taking the time to read my first blog entry. Thankyou. Johnwww.eternaltrooper.com logo1